What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

After a few moments he returns.

HELLO

Why are people with Asperger syndrome unenthusiastic?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Are democrats inherently stupid or just lazy? They can Google " Ohio is investigating reports by residents that migrants are eating the local wildlife " why can't they seem to do the most simple things? Blind, ignorant, stupid or obtuse?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What is price of the "liberal celebrities" e.g. Bill Maher, Seth Meyers, Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Desi Lydic etc. to join the great MAGA movement like Stephen Colbert who wanted to European ambassadorship to turn back on "the Left"?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

{RING} {RING}

Yes sir it is.

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Sure no problem officer.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.